my life’s dream

if i could make art (music and videos) full time, forever, i would take that life in a heartbeat, never looking back. this has happened once in may 2025 for a month (an interlude between jobs). i called this ART MONTH, and it was the best month of my life. i want to do it again, for longer: ART DECADE. or if it was possible, ART FOREVER. the desire has been in me since age 16 or so. i don’t want to work in the music industry, and i don’t want to be contingent on my music being profitable. i want to make my art, the way i envision it.

currently, i have a stupid tech job, which i am exceptionally good at. too good at it maybe. my knowledge and experience was built from doing crazy things in school and is the reason my colleagues rely on me for accurate technical advice. i’m the one to attempt and succeed with large, technically intricate projects. because of this, i make a cozy amount of money. this is convenient because it costs money to be alive. so, i’m saving and investing that money however possible to reach the level i could “retire” and get ART DECADE going. retire is the wrong word as i’ll probably only work more.

until then, the art here is done in my free time, elegantly balancing the time i spent on human connection, media consumption, and the art. i’ve learned so many times over that ruining this balance really fucks your head up.

my one other dream is travel. not to places. but people. i love my friends with all my heart, and i want to visit all of them, especially the ones that wouldn’t ever be able to travel to me. i do this a little now, but i only get so much time off work. if i could go to everyone.

i will put in everything from my soul to make these two goals a reality. eventually, however long it takes.